DFP 06 | Masculine And Feminine

Healing The Masculine And Feminine Within: Could This Be The Answer To Our “Not Enough” Story?

DFP 06 | Masculine And Feminine


As the world changes, we have become more aware of both the masculine and the feminine. We have evolved and are slowly starting to acknowledge that we need both, regardless of our genders. We are now learning the need to find a balance between the two. This is even more important now as we continue to feel, in many ways, inadequate. Learn how the masculine and feminine play into our “not enough” story. Find out the ways we have been taught to play certain roles as you rediscover the imbalances they put us through within. Finally, learn how to reclaim both your masculine and feminine and find the light to turn your “not enough” story to one that is full of self-love.

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Healing The Masculine And Feminine Within: Could This Be The Answer To Our “Not Enough” Story?

The topic is about the not enough story and the role that the masculine and feminine play in this not enough story. When you hear the inner masculine and inner feminine, when we hear there’s a lot of this language about the masculine and the feminine lately, what comes up for you? Even when you read this title, could the balance or the imbalance of our own inner masculine and feminine be the answer to our not enough story? What comes up for you? Whether you want to talk about the not enough story or you want to talk about the inner masculine and the inner feminine, what is coming up for you when you hear these words and when you hear this topic? This is a conscious conversation. This is something that has come through to me and the collective consciousness. It’s something that I feel wants to be spoken about.

The Masculine And The Feminine

What comes up for you when you hear the word masculine and feminine? What do you feel? What resonates with you when you hear the word not enough story? What is that for you? Non-gendered divinity, those are some keywords right there that I’d love us all to clue in. If other people have some ideas, there is no right or wrong. This is a conscious conversation. For so long, we’ve been told this story that there is male and there is female and that there are specific roles, whether you’re male or female, that you need to play in order to be a lovable or acceptable or embodied male or female.

However, as we’re starting to change, we’re starting to evolve and we’re starting to expand beyond this duality. We’re beginning to understand that masculine energy and feminine energy are very different. Neither is superior or inferior. Neither is connected to the physical body, which is gendered. There’s this huge movement around human beings, which we all are, who have been born into a physical body, a physical representation and have been feeling as though they’re expressing different characteristics that are not identified specifically with the body they were born into. What’s happening here is that this is a huge revolution around these people choosing to stand up and say, “I don’t identify as much with the female characteristics,” let’s say maybe I’m born into a female body. It’s creating this fluidity between helping all of us as a collective consciousness understand that masculine and feminine are energies. They are not necessarily connected to the physical body we’re born into.

Deep down, regardless of where we are in our life, we are all seeking this idea of balance. Click To Tweet

It is divinity, the qualities, the characteristics of masculine and feminine energies are divine. The divine masculine, the divine feminine which is the highest self, the highest order. The highest aspect of the divine masculine is protective, grounded, and strong. The shadow side to the masculine energy would be controlling, rooted in scarcity and too rigid. Those are some qualities and some characteristics. For the feminine, the divine feminine energy is fluid, creative and in the flow. The shadow side to the feminine energy is passive, weak and submissive.

“Not Enough” Story

We start to understand and identify these roles and these relationships between masculine and feminine and we understand that both are needed. Just that light is necessary for the dark in order to create structure and contrast, so too is the masculine necessary for the feminine in order to create this harmony or this balance. Deep down regardless of where we are in our life or our life journeys, we are all seeking this idea of balance. How do the divine masculine or the masculine and the feminine energies play into our not enough story? How can the balance between the masculine and the feminine be contributing to our not enough story?

Who has ever had a not enough story? Not enough money. Not beautiful enough. Not smart enough. Not masculine enough. Not feminine enough. Don’t have enough. Not enough time. There is this cyclical story that is embedded in our consciousness that we have unconsciously adopted from our past generations. In order for us as a collective consciousness to continue to expand and come back to harmony, come back to love and come back to union, it is important for us to understand some of the old stories we’ve been told that had been handed down for generations based upon their situations that no longer necessarily need to be true for us now. As we are learning to understand and to evolve our understanding of what it means to be male or female or even anywhere in between, so too does this understanding of what our old stories were no longer need to be the same story that we share now. There has been this story that we need to seek outside ourselves in order to find fulfillment within. It’s been about the story of finding the perfect partner. Having the kids, finding the perfect job, having the perfect house and having the perfect job. When you have all of these things, then you will be enough. You will be complete. This has been a large part of the story of seeking that we have been sold for far too long.

Something that stands out here is understanding the imbalances within us. It’s understanding that whatever you perceive on the outside is truly a reflection of the inside. This is where we’re going to dive a lot deeper into the masculine and feminine within ourselves. It’s the yin and the yang, the dark and the light is the key to truly being able to harmonize. It’s to rebalance this within ourselves so that all aspects of us are whole and complete and our not enough story begins to fade away.

Here’s what’s been coming up for me in my own working with men and men circles. Being a divine feminine presence and a female body working with men has helped me understand a lot more about balancing the masculine and the feminine within myself. It’s in these spaces that as a female embodied individual moving into a space that is all about the conscious collective of men, I’m starting to understand our similarities are much closer than we have led to believe. We have been taught to believe that our masculine, that as a female let’s say, that I am to embody masculine characteristics. Let’s go back to what masculine characteristics are. Masculine characteristics are being strong, being direct, being stable, being grounded, being certain and being assertive. All of these are more masculine characteristics or masculine energies.

As a female, if I am to embody these characteristics, oftentimes I am shamed in one way or another. There are these aspects of myself that have been qualified for so long of not being feminine enough because the feminine role or the role of the female for long has been to be submissive and passive. There’s this huge rise in our collective consciousness of many women who are stepping up and saying, “I am no longer going to be the submissive. I am no longer going to dim my light, dim my strength or hide my power because I’m supposed to be playing a role. That somewhere, someone, somewhere along the way has stated that this is what it means in order to be a female or a lovable female.” We have the same too in the opposite direction for men.

DFP 06 | Masculine And Feminine
Masculine And Feminine: We have to heal our imbalances within ourselves and help heal others to see and shine a light on their own.


Heal Our Imbalances

What it means to be masculine is that you need to be strong, you can’t show your emotions and you need to be tough. Anger is okay but sadness is not okay. Pain is not okay to express. You need to be strong. You need to be the rock. You need to hold it together because you are the masculine. Weakness is not okay. Weakness has for so long been defined by feminine qualities and characteristics. There’s a lot of shame that has been put for our men if they embody the emotions and feelings. If they tap into this softness within themselves, they have been shamed whether by other brothers, by feminine, female or anyone in between. It is our seeking. All aspects, no matter where you are on the gender scale, we all have these qualities and these characteristics of masculine and feminine within ourselves. Because we have been taught or we have allowed ourselves to believe an old story, we have denied ourselves acceptance. We have denied ourselves self-love and the self-love that is the root of all connection. Self-acceptance, accepting all aspects of ourselves whether female-embodied, male-embodied or anywhere in the spectrum. We have denied ourselves the aspects and characteristics of ourselves, feeling as though we cannot embody that if it is against our binary gender role, therefore we need to seek it to the other.

As a female individual, let’s say I hold these driven, direct, strong masculine characteristics and I’m seeking a partner, oftentimes my strength in the masculine can emasculate in quotes. The male embodied individual, if that person is feeling disconnected from their own masculine or the not enough story is running rampant in their head, it can create this feeling of not enough. This person has more masculine characteristics than I am embodying at this moment, and therefore I feel insecure. Therefore, I feel not enough because therefore I feel as though my role as I have been given it, let’s say as a masculine individual, is less than the role that this female partner is embodying, therefore I am not enough. Therefore, I feel inferior because of some story that has been told for so long that I’ve allowed myself to believe about being masculine or feminine and so too can the rules be reversed. It can be the exact same in the opposite. There is so much of this imbalance going on, this resistance, this holding back for men who are emotional, who have feelings, who want to connect, who deeply feel but they have been programmed that it is not okay to feel. They push it down and they create this barrier and this blockage that’s denying aspects of their own self and their feminine. In that, it creates an imbalance in the opposite perspective.

How then can we begin to accept as individuals our roles, the divine sources, the divine consciousness, the divine energies at play? How can we learn to accept all aspects of ourselves not seeking to the other, whether it be the feminine to support us emotionally and to hold the emotions or the masculine to support us strongly and hold down that root and that grounded in another person? Rather, learn to begin and understand and accept that the masculine and the feminine, whether male, female or anywhere in between are incredibly rich. They are incredibly potent, and important pieces of our self-acceptance. It’s truly the root of our not enough story and the root of us seeking outside something to bring us something we feel or we have been conditioned to feel is not enough within ourselves.

Our old stories no longer need to be the same story that we share now. Click To Tweet

This leads me back to the beginning of this prompt, this talk about could our balancing or rebalancing the masculine and the feminine energies within us the answer to our not enough story? When you feel not enough, it’s because you are in judgment. When you feel not enough or when you feel insecure, it’s because you were in judgment and you are judging yourself against others feeling as though X, Y or Z has more so than me. When we can learn to understand and to accept ourselves fully and totally as male, female, or anywhere in between, we learn to understand that the embodiment of the divine feminine and the divine masculine is divine. In that divinity, all is perfect. All is one. We begin to heal ourselves. We begin to let go of preconceived notions. We begin to fully surrender to the wholeness that is, was and will always be within.

Reconnecting As Brothers And Sisters

I feel incredibly blessed and incredibly grateful that I have been able to work with men. Work with helping men reconnect to their divine feminine and aspect of themselves that has been pushed down for far too long. It has been rejected by society and by us as females as well as the conscious collective. May together we shed light on these aspects of ourselves that are waiting to be seen, that are waiting to be heard, and that is waiting to be accepted so that we too can truly come back to the source of divinity that lies and rests within. May you share this message so that others who are also feeling this aloneness, this not enoughness begin to understand that the source of our enoughness comes from reconnecting all aspects of ourselves without shame. If you are a masculine-feminine woman, you are no less woman. You are no less man if you embody the divine feminine that is as equal as the divine masculine. Only when we begin to hold each other as brothers and sisters and see each other as equal will we begin to heal carries the weight of the not enough story.

For all of you reading this, I invite you to become a part of the growing conscious collective of divine masculine men who are choosing to stand with one another and support one another. Be held by the sister, the divine feminine energy, helping hold the divine masculine energy. Helping re-heal and rebalance this connection to your own divine feminine and masculine energy. I do host online circles so that this growing consciousness movement can be shared with brothers and sisters everywhere. It is important as there are these huge awakening and the divide of masculine and feminine and the woundings that have been happening around masculine and feminine, especially with the #MeToo Movement and the non-gender role movement.

There is a huge awakening that is being asked to come forth. There is a huge awakening that we’re all being asked to step into, surrender, rebalance, or rebirth. With the #MeToo Movement, although it has been incredibly powerful, I feel that there has been a big shadow side. I feel there’s a lot of pain within the women rightly so. I feel it’s also as important to understand that the pain that the women have experienced from the masculine is a true pain. It’s reaching in a way that is imbalanced, is not okay and is an old way of living, of being, of showing, of expressing. However, I do believe that the only way we can come back to balance within the masculine and the feminine is to find compassion and love within our hearts to heal our own masculine and feminine within us. As the females start to rise, the feminine energy starts to rise. I do also feel as though for all the women listening out there, it is our responsibility to take responsibility for the fact that we have pushed down our divine masculine. We cannot have this imbalance without accepting the imbalance within ourselves.

As women, we may have been repressed and taken advantage of because we have allowed ourselves to believe that we are the weaker, that we are less than. We have denied as women our divine masculine. We have denied ourselves from stepping into the power. We have allowed the masculine to overpower us as much as we have denied the masculine from sinking into the softness. I do host Men’s Circles in person. I host at festivals. I also host here in Santa Cruz. There is a bigger global movement happening where men from around the world who don’t have a local circle can come to this circle. We all help hold the space for one another to heal, to share, to connect as brothers being held by myself, the only female in this circle holding that feminine energy that all brothers can tap into.

DFP 06 | Masculine And Feminine
Masculine And Feminine: Only when we begin to hold each other as brothers and sisters and see each other as equal will we begin to heal.


An aspect of this movement is there are a lot of women standing together, bonding together. There are not, however, a lot of roles standing on the opposite side. As a female realizing that there is a rise of the women, all men can feel it. There’s a lot of fear in our men now because they realize that the feminine energy is rising. It’s rising with pain and with anger, unfortunately. I feel that there is a lot of fear in the masculine and the masculine space holders that there is some acknowledgment and some acceptance that they have created this pain and this anger. However, there’s also a lot of fear because nobody wants the anger whether it’s the masculine, the feminine or the feminine of the masculine. Nobody wants this pain and this anger to be expressed, especially to be directed because it’s poisonous and toxic.

The masculine within all whether female or masculine, male or anywhere in between because we have allowed the imbalance and this patriarchy has affected our entire global consciousness. It has affected all of us deeply on an individual level. Embodying the divine masculine and the divine feminine no matter where you are takes a lot of allowances, a lot of tapping into and a lot of acceptance in our own spaces. It’s truly beginning to understand the characteristics of both masculine and feminine we have been repressing for long. Have you been repressing your emotions because you felt as though you were weaker if they were expressed? Have you been repressing intimacy, whether with the same sex or opposite sex? You were afraid that if you express yourself in intimacy and being soft, being gentle and being touched that you may be received as wrong or rejected. Have you been denying the masculine because you were afraid of becoming too much overwhelming, too strong?

Understand that whatever you perceive on the outside is truly a reflection of the inside. Click To Tweet

All of these are different for each and every single individual and these are questions we must ask ourselves when it comes to healing the divine feminine and the divine masculine within ourselves. The true source of love as we all know comes from within, but how can we cultivate this true source of love? I believe it’s by accepting and embracing the divine feminine and the divine masculine within us all so that we can stop seeking for outside ideas or representations to fulfill us so that we can begin to do our own healing.

We all have so much to share. A big part of this movement is called the Men Need Space Too Movement for men. This online gathering is about creating this hub where we can come together and sit in circle monthly. Your divine masculine and feel strong and feel strengthened, feel supported by the other divine masculine who show up for you. You and your area can start to host these circles and bring other men together also in your area. Every man who shows up and who joins can start if they feel inspired to hold space in their areas and take from this collective consciousness of men who show up monthly and begin to transport this in their own local communities. This is how we create an awakening of global consciousness.

The divine masculine wants to fix and wants to change. The divine feminine allows and creates space. The divine feminine is passive in nature, but that passivity often creates the space to where the true inner healing can be done. Don’t try to fix or change something but rather to feel the rage, the pain and the anger and allow yourselves to feel it. All of us, masculine or feminine, allow ourselves to feel it and to know that the feeling of it is the most divine expression of human experience there is. To feel is to heal and only when we can do that for ourselves and one another will we begin to heal our not enough story.

My biggest intention is to help reconnect the divine masculine and divine feminine so that we can continue to expand global consciousness and truly embody that which deep down each and every single one of us knows we are capable of embodying. Thank you so much for allowing yourselves to feel, for allowing your voices to be spoken. What you do matters. How you show up in the world matters. I am so happy to be a part of this community and to be part of this movement. Please share this message. The more people who can read and share, the more people will understand that we are no longer alone and that we do have a community who is ready to step in and to support one another.

My brothers and sisters, in deep gratitude, I thank you. I thank you for being on the path, for being a part of this conscious community. If you want to share this, we appreciate your support. You can also find the Driven For Purpose Podcast on iTunes, Driven For Purpose: Reconnecting Mankind. Thank you so much.

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