DFP 57 | Letting Go

How To Get More Of What You Want By Letting Go

DFP 57 | Letting Go


Most of us get so hung up into what the future is going to look like or how it's going to turn out. Then again, some are still hooked on the past, scared of letting go, and forgetting to appreciate the now. It leads to scenarios in our head that turn into being stuck in a limbo of giving up or taking the risk. Ebonie Allard, a certified and award-winning master coach for the misfits and mavens, sheds light on the importance of clarity when it comes to aligning and creating your dreams and visions while taking on radical responsibility. Creator of the Misfit to Maven Way and the Value Filter™ system, Ebonie makes us feel good on the inside as she encourages us to win over the past to create a promising future and the free tools we can use to start practicing the art of letting go.

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How To Get More Of What You Want By Letting Go

FB LIVE Special with Ebonie Allard

I'm always excited when I get to bring on inspiring people who are doing inspiring things. I'm bringing on a special guest, Ms. Ebonie. We're about to have an amazing conversation around something that's been prevalent in our lives about how to get more of what you want by letting go. I want to introduce you to Ebonie. She is an amazing coach. She's an inspiring woman who helps misfits turn into mavens. She has amazing coaching programs that she leads a bunch of misfits, people who are trying to discover what it is their calling and their purpose is and gain clarity and confidence. She has amazing programs. Ebonie, thank you so much for coming on the show with me.

I’m excited to be here.

Why don't you tell the audience a little bit about you, a little bit about more of what you do? Give them a little bit more juice, a little bit more book on how you help inspire individuals to step deeper into their power.

I work with what I call misfits. I like to distinguish the difference between misfits and rebels or misfits and mavericks because misfits are people who are born different. We see the world differently. We've often spent a lot of time feeling like we don't fit in and feeling that we don't belong. We see things differently from other people. We’re often creative or sensitive or full of heart, compassion and empathy. Rebels often have something to prove. They want to be different and they want to stand out. Mavericks go out of their way to do things differently, whereas misfit has spent most of their life complying, trying to fit in. We’re good chameleons. We can show up at any environment, any circumstance and people pulling it our way into blending in anywhere.

It's my belief that we were born to stand out, but it's my belief that we were here to spot problems and see things before anyone else does. We've got the creativity and the empathy to solve them and to show up in a place of solution finding, to show up in a place of abundance and creation rather than trying to put a Band-Aid on it or keep anyone small. The work I do in the world is to help misfits love and appreciate themselves, own their worth, understand who they are, what they are here for and step into being the adult rather than the adult version of themselves. Take responsibility for themselves and have fun doing it. It's not all serious. You get to have fun, you get to play but be self-responsible whilst doing it.

I'm sure many other people got so dialed in. It's so beautiful how clear I can see the exact person that you work with and that you work for. Thank you so much for doing that because I feel every person, no matter where you're at and what you're doing, there's this energy of wanting to be a part of something greater in this collective. To have a community of support and someone like yourself who's helping lead that power, helping people find their powers is powerful. Thank you for the work you’re doing.

We are freedom and belonging seekers. Click To Tweet

It's a vocation. It's a calling because I am someone who could otherwise feel othered, feel different and feel separate. The other thing that defines us is we’re freedom seekers. We are freedom and belonging seekers. We have this difficult and sometimes challenging and misfortunate thing that goes on where on the one hand we’re like, “Give me space. Let me roam free. Let me travel the world. Let me show up anywhere. Let me do my own thing. I want to be free.” At the same time, we also want to belong. We want to feel a connection. We want to know where our tribe is. We want to be in each other's hearts and belong to something important. It felt like either/or for such a long time and now this worked for me like, “It can be and/or both. You can’t have both of these things.” That's what I'm passionate about.

I met Ebonie through another friend of mine. We just started dropping in. We have similar things that we do in the world. We're passionate about the same types of things, helping people step into their passion and own their gifts. We started dropping in around what's going on in our personal lives. What we've realized while we've been on this entrepreneurial journey of wanting to help the world and help other people, as well as help ourselves dive deeper into more alignment of what it is that we're called to do here. We've found some beautiful similarities. That's what our topic is about how to get more of what you want by letting go. I feel like you're aligned in this that the society tells us to do the opposite. In order to get what you want, you have to work super hard, you have to be bigger, stronger and better than everybody else. It creates this whole mentality although I bought into it for a while. What it was doing is creating a lot of tension, contraction, and constriction, not only in my physical body but in my mental-emotional body as well. I'm curious what your thoughts are on that. If you want to dive in a little bit on your philosophy on it all.

All the stuff I teach, I'm into walking my talk. It's all stuff I've experienced myself and I genuinely subscribe to. We teach what we're here to learn. It's with the level of honesty and vulnerability that I say I'm a recovering control freak. I used to believe that in order to get what I want, I need to know how and it needs to be perfect. I need to be right and I need to fit in this box. I have learned that the firmer that we hold onto something, the more we’re like, “It has to be like this. It needs to be like that. I need to show up like this.” We end up in this contorted, can't even breathe place where our body is screaming at us.

Somehow, the story is going that if I had more capacity, if I could control myself more, if I could control my desires my compulsions and my needs, that I would be better at achieving whatever it is. My truth and my reality are that the more that I have let go, the more that I have found my desire, the clearer on what it is that I want in the world but held it in an open palm, the easier it is for it to flow into my life. It isn't about being fluffy and staying in desire. Many people are holding on too tightly to how it's going to show up, who they need to be in order to do that. There's so much control. People come to me and they're like, “If I could control myself better, if I could control my life better and if I could control other people better, then I would feel good and everything would be better.”

The moment you take your story of why you're not in control of yourself and you put it on something or someone else, the moment you've lost all your empowerment. It’s the moment you've given away all your power to everything else, and good luck to truly owning your experiences and taking responsibility. I know you are an advocate of radical self-responsibility, knowing that it's this piece of taking responsibility for everything in your life. It's going to get you to receive all the things you truly desire. There is one piece that you said that I know we both have uncommon that I'd like to touch on, which was this clarity piece. It’s the importance of clarity when it comes to aligning and creating your dreams and visions. This is huge for my clients and me and I know it is for you too. Do you want to elaborate a little bit more on the depths that this clarity has when it comes to calling in what we desire?

I can share the tiniest little synchronicity that happened to me. The more that we can be clear on what it is that we want and the more that we are then open to believing that it is possible and that it can happen for us. The more that the universe or whatever it is that you want to call that energy that is constantly working for us to align all these pieces can drop tiny little breadcrumbs in for you to follow. If we get to go on this journey, it's not final. You don't get to say, “This is my vision now. It's in this box again.” Every single day, that vision is going to be molding, changing and shifting as you do and evolving and growing as you do.

The Secret

Sometimes it's going to be clear in terms of vision and you can go into seeing what it looks like. A lot of times it's going to be like, “What does it feel like? Am I chasing numbers on a page, but does it feel good to me? It's my body in the expansion. Am I in contraction chasing this thing? Hang on. My vision didn't have me doing this.” Step back into, “What's the feeling? It’s not the end goal. How do I want to manifest this vision? How do I want to be? Who do I want to be on that journey?” Little things happen.

I had a guy friend of mine. We were talking about some work he's doing and I was like, “You’re finished. Since it’s my birthday, you could cook me a meal.” He made a joke about how I was pushing for him to cook me a meal and I said, “I don't think I'm going to be around anyway. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be in Bali.” I don't know where that came from. I was toying with the idea of like, “Maybe Bali in July.” Almost instantly, I was on Facebook looking and another friend said, “I'm going to be in Bali for my birthday on the 25th of July. Who wants to come and join me? I'm going to book this flight.” My birthday is on the 23rd of July and I was like, “I want to do this.” It's those tiny little nudges. It's like, “Are you courageous enough to step in when the opportunity arises? Are you courageous enough to take action in line with your vision?” People often think, “I can't act. I can't move. I can't do anything.” This vision, I've made it into a plan. I've written it down. I've put detail in and I've worked out how. I would argue that you get to spend less time working on the how and the details. You’ll spend more time feeling into who do you get to become and what is the version of you that's living that life already because then it will show up.

That's what I've been speaking a lot into. It’s this feeling piece. We live in the reality of the mind. The majority live in the reality of the mind where things need to make sense in order for me to feel safe. It creates this box story or this linear story. The truth is we are expansive. Some of the most amazing things that have happened in my life, I could never have planned for in a million years. It's a dream that these things are happening. It's because I plant the seeds. Let's plant the seeds of intention and allow ourselves to give it space to grow. One of the things that's funny that I like to often refer to was the book, The Secret, when it came out years ago. It’s a great job on trying to simplify this understanding of what we're capable of as our human potential begins to tap deeper but way too easy. I can't say like, “I want a Ferrari,” and then it shows up.

You have to continue to show up in action and in alignment with your intention. What I heard from you and your story is you had this feeling that it would be nice to go to Bali for your birthday. You started speaking it into space and then that was picked up in the universe in some way, shape or form and echoed back to you with an opportunity. One of the things we often get ourselves and prevent us from truly stepping into and starting to create more of what we desire is that we're not speaking it. We’re afraid to speak it because we're afraid it's not going to happen. When we can speak into it and let it go, all of a sudden it's a vibration that gets sent out. It has ten times more the possibility to come back to you.

What I love about what you said is the idea of playing with it. Many people are like, “I'm afraid to say it out loud because then that's a plan and it's real. I've got to stick to it and I can't possibly go back on my word.” I’m like, “What if people say, ‘You said you were going to do that and then you didn’t?’” There's so much story alongside your vision and alongside how it might be. What would it be like to play with it? What would it be like to be chatting to your friends and be like, “We'll do this?” You’re like, “I want to go to Bali,” and then there’s an opportunity to speak it out loud playfully like, “That would be cool.”

This opportunity comes and when the opportunity comes and someone is like, “Do you want to put down some money now to buy some flights?” I could be like, “No, it doesn't feel right to me. That's scary right now. I need to check some other things.” Speaking it out loud and letting go of how it's going to be seen by others, whether or not you're going to go back on your word and being okay with being in a place of changing your mind and having things shift is important. I see many people sticking to something that no longer serves them just because they said they would. They were afraid to go back and say, “My parameters have changed or my priorities changed and this isn’t for me anymore.”

Letting go is being right. Click To Tweet

In Corporate America, we're taught this story since we're children. You need to go into this structure, which is school, and you need to continue. You need to get a degree and you need to get a good job. Having that good job is going to create safety and security and then you get a house and you get a wife and all of these things. I feel that when we're younger, we don't have this authority. We don't have this understanding. We don't have this self-awareness. We're going along with everybody else because we don't know any better. You start to develop your self-awareness and you go through and you spend all this money on school.

You spend all this time and energy and then you end up in this place that no longer serves you and you are feeling terrible. You have anxiety. You're maybe feeling depressed. You’re certainly stressed. Your body is starting to hurt. You have backaches. You name it, there are many things that are happening in the physical body for many people that they continue to ignore because of saving face or like, “I've spent so much time.” This could be a relationship as well. It's like, “I've invested eight years in this relationship.” Does it make you feel good? I feel that if we could only lean into this deeper knowledge and this deeper wisdom of the feeling body, we would then be able to be guided so much more smoothly and swiftly into the places that we truly desire to be instead of the story that our mind created that may or may not serve us anymore.

With that, we're back at radical responsibility. If something doesn't feel good at this moment, does it mean you ditch it? Does it mean you go, “Having this conversation doesn't feel good to me, and I’m going to leave?” No, you adult up and you’re like, “It feels good to me to be someone who feels empowered. It feels good to me to be somebody who can have the uncomfortable conversations, who can allow themselves to be seen and who can see their partner in the relationship.” You spend some time diving into being with one another and being in this messy place.

It's important to follow the feelings of feeling good, but I also think it's good to feel it and heal it across the spectrum because we have such judgments over our feelings. The best feelings allowed this feeling like, “This one is good and this one is not,” and that's not okay. If you're constantly chasing feeling good and only feeling good and not willing to go into, “If I don't feel good, this is a signal.” It doesn't mean everything is wrong and I must leave. It’s a signal of like, “What's another layer here? How can I empower myself in this situation? How can I get to know myself more? How can I articulate what would feel good?”

It’s also like, “What were the steps I took that got me to this place of feeling?” When you can take a step back and be like, “How did I get here?” I find in my own self-reflection that oftentimes there was a slight misalignment that I knew. It was maybe a deep intuition that I didn't listen to. When I take a step back and look at it, I’m like, “I had this feeling that this is going to happen, but I went for it anyways.” This is super key and I love that you brought that out because it is important not to run away from things. If you're in a situation, sit in the discomfort. What's the teaching? I’m here for a reason. Maybe I don't want to be here for long, but it doesn't mean you have to run away from the situation. How can I change it? How can I choose to change the way that I'm showing up in the situation in order to cultivate more of what I want?

If we link that back to the topic that we have and letting go. It’s like letting go of being right. I remember this expression that came up at the beginning of my personal development journey. You can be right or you can be happy. It made me angry because I was like, “No, I can be both. I want to be right and happy.” These days, being right is so much less important to me because I've let go of it. I have let go of needing to be right in order to choose to be happy. That's so important because this idea of course-correcting, we can do it at any time. Our dreams can shift. What we want can shift, what the other person wants and how we're willing to show up in our relationship can shift if we're willing to let go of being right.

DFP 57 | Letting Go
Letting Go: Our dreams can shift, what we want can shift, what the other person wants, how we're willing to show up in our relationship can shift, if we're willing to let go of being right.


Could you share an experience that you had with the audience where you put this into practice? Where you started to understand maybe that you can let go and get more of what you want. Maybe you didn't know that that's what you were doing intentionally, but an experience happens where you let go and all of a sudden most of what you wanted came into your play.

In a relationship, I had a strong feeling that this person and I were supposed to be in a relationship and we both pursued that. After a month of intensity and learning from each other and being in the relationship that I wanted, it turned out that for him the trajectory that we were going on wasn't right for him anymore. What he needed to do was to course-correct, to make a different decision and go ever so slightly that way, which changed the parameters of our relationship. My instant reaction was an old pattern of behavior, that if I can't have it how I want it, then you can't have me at all.

My instant response was like, “If we're not in a committed romantic relationship, bye.” I was then like, “What happens if I let go? Does it need to fit a certain narrative? Does it need to fit in a certain box? What happens if I'm able to tune in to what would feel not for my ego and not look like, ‘If I can't have it how I want it, then I'm won't be and I'm not playing?’” What happens if I'm able to go a layer deeper, show up in a radically responsible way, empower myself, speak my truth, but also seek freedom and belonging at this moment? My intention is freedom and belonging at this moment.

I came back and was like, “Some of the stuff I said came from a place of fear. I want to be right. I want us to have a story and a narrative that looks like this. This is where we are. I honor you for showing up in your truth and telling me what feels good for you and what you need.” We've navigated that in a way that we are as close as we were, but both getting our needs met and continually in conversation. I'm able to see new deeper layers of how I am in romantic relationships or how I have been in a romantic relationship that I also get to course-correct. There are layers of it. It felt like a clear enough example. It’s catching yourself in a pattern of behavior that is led by needing to be right or wanting it to fit in a certain structure or be in a certain way and then tapping into both the power of radical responsibility. How do I want to feel? What's my intention here? I am choosing to do something different.

That was relevant to me at this moment. There's this experience that I'm currently having where I realize an old pattern. I realize that I have a choice at this moment. I have a choice and I can choose to go left, which doesn't make me feel good or I can choose to let go and trust in the universe. I've had a mantra that I've been saying when everything started making me let go. It was this deep inner knowing that the universe is always working out for me no matter what's going on, whether I'm on my way to go somewhere and I get a flat tire or I had plans to do something and I didn't end up working.

The moment that I can say, “The universe is always working out for me, there’s something else that I'm supposed to be doing. What is that?” I don't stay in that place of resistance. I don't stay in that place of contraction. As soon as I let go of that old story, that belief or that thought, all of these doors end up opening up that I would never have expected if I would've stayed on my own narrow thought pattern of this is how it should be because of X, Y and Z. Oftentimes, that is related to our past. If we want to expand and we want to grow, and we want to step into our greatest potential fully, then it's disempowering to focus what we think should happen in the future based upon what has happened in the past. It prevents us from expanding.

Believe that the world and everything around you are set up to support you rather than it being out to get you. Click To Tweet

We come back to this idea of clarity and your vision. We get hung up into what it's going to look like or how it's going to turn out. If I am like, “This is the story. This is how we met. This is how it went. This is how he is.” All of those things show I’m not trusting the universe. I’m not letting go. To work with me or to work with you, there's this underlying truth that is I believe the universe has always got my back. I am here as an evolutionary soul who is here to learn and grow. If the primary function of my time here is to learn and grow, then I have to believe that the world and everything around me is set up to support me rather than it being out to get me.

We get attached to a particular outcome. I'm like, “It's going to be like this.” What if there’s even better than that? What if there was a sense of ease? What if that was an opportunity for something even bigger than you can imagine? You've got to be clear with the universe and the person you want to be, the sensation that you want to experience, the people that you want to hang around with, what you want your environments to look, feel and sound like. The details aren't yours to micromanage. You get to choose and you get to make a decision again and again.

Our work is to choose and take action at every moment like, “Which thought am I thinking? Which action am I taking?” Aside from that, it's a co-creation. It's beautiful when you witness someone dancing on their own, but if you watch someone dancing with a partner, isn’t it beautiful? That's what we get to do. I know I can create things on my own. I’m a wonderful creatrix. The stuff I get to create in connection with the universe in collaboration as a co-creation is much more powerful and much more magnetic.

You have this energy. When energy comes together, it multiplies. It’s super powerful. It’s this whole concept of letting go to get more of what you want. One of the pieces that I feel is also important to point out is that a lot of people get caught up in the story of, “When I get this, then I'll feel like that. When I get this thing, I'll be happy.” That thought process is taking you out of your opportunity to feel how you want at this moment regardless of what you have. I'm reading this book called Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza. He’s talking a lot about quantum physics and this is not spiritual hippy mumbo jumbo.

This is what we use in our own lives. This is what we use in our coaching or whoever we're helping. This is what’s in quantum physics. It’s this deeper knowing that we're all vibrations and in order to attract more of the vibrations that you desire, it starts with tuning into the vibration that you're holding. When you start to find, “I'm excited for when X, Y and Z happens. I know how it's going to feel and this, that and the other.” At this moment, I can feel already this starting to happen. I can feel the freedom that I have because I'm no longer realizing that I have to stay stuck in a relationship or a job or whatever it is that I don't like. I can start to expand my perspective of how I'm free at this moment and I'll continue to be free.

You can go along with this thought pattern and habit. This is important that letting go starts here and now. The letting go and the getting more of what you want starts by recognizing all the things that you already have. Once upon a time, where you are now was a dream at some point in your life. As we're continuing to expand and evolve, we keep dreaming and we keep expanding and so does our vision of who we are and what we want and what is possible. I feel that's a super key piece for anyone who's reading this and who wants to continue to apply this knowledge. Start with where you are now and start appreciating and feeling into, “How can I feel good now?” From that place of feeling good, be inspired to know that I can feel even better.

DFP 57 | Letting Go
Letting Go: If you are feeling good on the inside, it doesn't matter what's going on externally. You're still going to feel that way.


How fragile is the life that is good on the outside when everything is so fragile? If anything moves or changes, it’s because the wind blows. If your state is managed and stable internally, if you are feeling good on the inside, if you like who you are, if you're proud, happy, satisfied and fulfilled with your reality on the inside, it doesn't matter what's going on externally. You're still going to feel that way. From my perspective, whilst it takes longer to figure out what makes you feel good on the inside, it's so much more stable. You can be anywhere in the world or surrounded by any people or any situation. It doesn't matter what's in your bank account. It doesn't matter whether it's raining. True freedom is to be in a place regardless of what is going on externally, I feel good. If I can manage my state and let go in any situation and still feel good, that is mastery. That is freedom. That's also belonging to us.

I feel that a lot of people are seeking these tools. They're starting to wake up. Anybody that's reading this, you're looking for the tools. You're looking for the answers and this is the universe coming at the right time in synchronicity to speak to you. One of the things I love to do is not talk about theory. This is what I love about you as well. We are practical women. We have one foot in the spiritual world and one foot on the earth. For those people who are reading this, what tools would you say to anyone who is ready to fully start owning this and start practicing this and getting more what you want by letting go? What would you give them that they could start with?

I'm going to give you a disclaimer. The things I'm going to share with you are simple. They're free. They require no teacher, they require no signing up for Amanda's programs or my programs or anything. These are the simplest tools in the book. The first one is to understand how to shift your state by meditating. There are tons of different ways to meditate. Sometimes we meditate to do the washing up in our brain and clear out what's in this. We start with a clean slate. Sometimes we meditate to be able to look from a different perspective, to step out of our own and witness ourselves. Sometimes we step out of ourselves to imagine ourselves or the situation from another perspective.

Sometimes we meditate to tune in to our own frequency or our signature vibration to return back to ourselves. There are 100 reasons to meditate and that's before we even get into the physiological benefits. Spending some time alone where you get quiet and where you are with your own breath is hugely powerful. That is one of the key things that I will always start with. If you can change your state by slowing everything down and breathing differently, you have something you can use on an airplane, in a busy city or on a beach. It’s a powerful, important tool.

The second thing is the journaling. You will have heard this being talked about all over the world and by 100 different teachers. It's generalized. There are a lot of different ways to journal. You might journal to empty the chapter in your mind onto a page, square it up, throw it away and get rid of it. You might journal to get clear on something. Write your vision for something and your intention. Hone in on something and get it outside. Speak it outside of your head so that you can see and get clearer and clearer. You might journal with prompts to find out how you feel about something or to dive deeper into the stories that are running underneath or beliefs that you can't see. There are many reasons to journal, but those two tools are going to do you well.

The third is to get yourself around like-minded people and to engage and be in a place of a community over competition. Be in a place where you feel safe and you can practice doing some of this stuff. You can start talking from your highest self. You can step into becoming this new you, and you can be around people who are going to love you, appreciate you and encourage you rather than judging you and making you small and telling you you're wrong. Find a tribe. Find some people that you can speak this stuff and this new way of being that you're exploring out loud. Those are my top three.

Spending some time alone where you get quiet in where you are with your own breath is hugely powerful. Click To Tweet

I would say the same. I love the last one that you said. The power of community is understated. I feel that's something oftentimes people struggle with. A lot of clients who come to me are like, “I don't know where my tribe is.” I didn't know where my tribe is and I want to step up. How can I be supportive when I'm ready to make these changes? How can I do that when maybe everyone else around me is still staying stuck in old patterns, habits and stories? I have a feeling that this is why you created your program. It’s to help people feel that they have this tribe, this group and this support. Is that part of the reason why?

It’s part of the reason. The people that come through are interesting. Many of us feel that it should be given. We should have friends. We should have people that get us and all of that stuff. It's entirely different when you are investing to be in that space. If you're willing to put down some money, you're willing to say, “I'm coming to this space with cash in hand. I'm all in. I'm here. I'm showing off,” and everybody else who's in that space is too, then we know we've got a safe container where you can go deep. It’s where you can show up as you and everybody else is as invested as you are. The people that come and work with my programs, they accelerate and what they say is it's the safest place on the internet. They’re like, “I feel seen. I feel heard. I can show up vulnerable.”

The other thing they often say, and if you're reading this, this may be true for you, it’s like, “I don't know that I want to be in a group container because my experience of groups is that I give too much. I show up and it's all me giving and no one supports me and no one sees me.” You have to be willing to receive support. You want to discern the places that you're showing up. I imagine that the places that you're showing up at the moment are places where you are over giving and you're not willing to be received. It doesn't feel safe for you to be seen, for you to be received, for you to shift and change the role that you’re playing. Coming into space where it's held on the purpose of that container was new to experiment and to find a balance between giving and receiving and know that it can shift and change over the course of a month or over the course of a year or however you are showing up. That is powerful.

It's important for anyone. One thing I constantly tell people is I have never been disappointed or regretful in investing in myself. Even if I invested in a program, a coach, a teacher, a workshop or whatever and I wasn't super thrilled and I walked away being like, “I'm not sure if that was it.” The highlight of where I could have invested in that might have been better programming for me, I still never regretted it because you always learn something and you always learn about yourself.

Anytime you spend money on yourself, you're telling yourself on an energetic level, “I'm worth it. I'm worth my time, my energy, my money. I’m worth all of the things I'm going to spend on everything and everyone else.” There's something that happens when you start to tell yourself that and you start to energetically spend on that, especially when it comes to personal growth and self-development. You are the safest investment you will ever make because you're never going to let yourself down. Even if someone else or something else lets you down, you won't ever let you down. It's beautiful the way you put that and I couldn't be more aligned with that truth.

I see many people wanting to do strategy and growth before they feel a solid foundation. They want to go, they’re ready, they want to build, they want to be seen and they want all of this stuff. I love that enthusiasm. Until you have figured out who you are and learn to like it and appreciate it and not care what other people think, let go of anything other than being true to you. It’s knowing who you are, knowing what your worth is, knowing how to show up, knowing how articulate it, knowing how to communicate. Until you have that, the rest of that stuff may build you a tall tower.

DFP 57 | Letting Go
Letting Go: Until you have figured out who you are and learn to like it, appreciate it, and not care what other people think, you may build a tall tower but it's fragile.


You might grow. You might start to have a tribe. You might start to have a vision. You might start to do all of the other things, but it's fragile. It could get knocked by someone saying something or you getting sick and needing to take some time off. There are many things, but the most important thing if you were at the beginning of this journey of building a business or an online business at that is to get comfortable with yourself. The more you know yourself, the more you know your clients, the more you know what you can deliver, the more accurate you can be in saying, “I can help you or no, I can’t.” It’s so important.

Ebonie, this has been amazing. I don't ever plan anything because I allow it to flow. When I feel a connection with someone, there was so much alignment and so much fluidity. It's always such an honor when I can bring on someone who's showing up in the world in an inspiring way. Someone who has the ability to articulate and put into words and help to show what it is or what's possible for other people out there who are looking to also be on their path of personal growth and self-empowerment. I want to thank you for showing up. Thank you for doing the work that you're doing. Thank you for being the person that you are and being 100% you and embodying that you and helping by doing that and showing others that they have the ability to do that too. It's inspiring and this has been an amazing conversation. I feel grateful for this space and this platform and to be able to do this with you here.

Thank you. I take that, receive that and love that. I know you and I will do have more conversations about more things because there are many things that we want to unpack and many more places where we have space of intrigue that is similar to one another. Thank you for setting this up and being open to having conversations.

I want to make sure if anybody is feeling interested in learning more about you or what you have going on or if they feel they're a misfit and they're ready to be a maven, that they have the places to find you. Everybody can find you through your Facebook and they can go that way, but how can people find more about you, more about your work or get involved in the things that you're doing?

The best place to come is EbonieAllard.com and I'm also @EbonieAllard on Instagram. I'm Ebonie Allard across the board because there’s only one of me. I'm always on Instagram so if you are an Instagrammer, come and say hello. Send me DMs, give me a hi. We can have a chat that way. Otherwise, my programs run year-round. We do a bigger launch before the beginning of each quarter. I don't ascribe to scarcity and making people feel like they have to sign up now and that they can’t tie into that own rhythms. We keep everything open evergreen and you can find your way into a program and get onboard whenever feels right for you. Come and join me. Come and say hello.

Thank you for your time, your presence and your energy. I look forward to how we end up co-creating and collaborating in the future.

Thank you.

I enjoyed doing it. We will see you. Adios.

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About Ebonie Allard

Ebonie Allard is a Certified & award winning Master Coach. Creator of the Misfit to Maven Way and the Value Filter™ system. A Misfit turned Maven. An Adventurer of life. An Author. A Priestess. A Sister. A Friend.
She helps creative misfits like you to simplify their lives, and eliminate guilt allowing you to live your greatest potential and be bolder, freer and happier now! Know that you crave work that's fulfilling, connected authentic intimate relationships, time for yourself to connect to who you really are and time to explore and indulge your creativity. I help people like you to:
  • Accelerate Adventure; building purposeful, fun, fulfilled and rewarding work & lives.
  • Create Connection; a sense of real belonging, awesome authentic relationships with yourself and with others.
  • Magnetize money; in a way that feels good and is in line with your values.
  • It is my mission to help you live a fully rounded three dimensional, successful and self-governed life. At my core, I believe that it is your responsibility to shine, to bring your gifts to the world, and to encourage others to do the same.
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