In Order To Be Worshiped, You Must First Worship: The Power Of Self-Love
We all desire to be loved, to be worshiped, and be in the right relationship. We long for this so much that we tend to overlook our own selves. The key is to cultivate first self-love. This is expounded to us further by Amanda as she takes us into a deeper understanding on how we can attain a higher vibrational state of feeling and higher vibrational experiences. This would enable us to feel all the sensations that would help us to focus on our energy within and attract the right level of relationship with someone who will see us in our full divinity.
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In Order To Be Worshiped, You Must First Worship: The Power Of Self-Love
Attracting The Intimate And Sexual Relationships You Truly Desire
I have a lot of topics that I'm excited to talk about and this one is so unbelievably present in my life. When I tune into myself and what I'm feeling, I feel so much aliveness in my body, so many sensations in my body as of late as I've allowed myself to continue to soften. I truly do believe that this higher vibrational state of feeling and these higher vibrational experiences that I have been so blessed to have. These experiences in this way of feeling are possible for each and every one of you.
Consciously Create Your Own Reality
One of my biggest missions is to be able to share some of my experiences and what I am doing to create these experiences. Truly whether we're aware of it or not, we are all creating our own realities. We have a choice. We can choose to create them consciously with intention or we can choose to create them unconsciously. Oftentimes when we are creating our experiences unconsciously, that's when we end up in situations and circumstances that we don't want. These are situations and circumstances that we are not so happy about and that's oftentimes when people can get into the victim mode.
I have been hearing a lot from clients, people who have written in, friends and the community in general about wanting to attract the right level of relationships, the right experiences, whether they be intimate experiences or sexual experiences. I am excited to bring you this podcast on, In Order To Be Worshiped, You Must First Worship. It’s the top secret to cultivating self-love and honoring the god-goddess within. This is the secret to attracting the types of relationships that you want. I feel and I hear so many people who share their sexual or intimate experiences with me and then end up feeling slightly depleted or disconnected as the experience wasn't all that they wanted. I'm starting to notice a theme around when I ask deeper about, “Tell me about the experience. What was cultivated? What was created for you?” I'm starting to notice oftentimes a slight misalignment in what people are wanting to feel, experience and what they are doing. We feel not good when our actions are not aligned with our intentions. We get out of alignment and we don't always cultivate the right kind of relationships that we truly desire.
There's also been a lot of talk in the community about self-love, “How do I learn to love myself? How do I learn to heal from within so that I'm no longer projecting, seeking and creating these messes of relationships that I don't want to be in?” This is such a juicy topic because I have had such incredible relationships with the divine masculine. The absolute divine masculine, meaning the masculine who is in their highest expression of themselves. Any of the women who have pain around their relationships with men, some of the experiences that they may have had in their life that were less than optimal. They were connecting to men who weren't in their divine masculine or maybe who have had abusive relationships or whatever experience, my heart goes out to you. I hope that this podcast gives you a deep inner feeling within your belly, within your womb that the divine masculine that you are seeking is out there. It’s the same for the men because believe me, I know that you men have also been hurt and abused by women. You may not talk about it very often or as loudly as the women are, but I know that it works both ways.
To any man, the divine goddess, the queen who you are seeking is out there. I love for you to sit with that for a moment and see how that feels and maybe you have the divine in your life. Maybe you're going through a rough patch but sit with this in your heart and notice how it feels to know that. I'd like to start first by sharing a little bit about my experience with the divine masculine. I have truly encountered so many amazing beautiful men who are on their path, who are taking responsibility, who are honoring themselves in a mental, emotional, physical way and who are truly showing up in the world for themselves and for the greater good. I believe that this is important because I know that sometimes we can experience the opposite. I feel so blessed to have had so many of these circumstances and situations with men who are honoring themselves so much that they're respecting their boundaries. It has created different types of relationships.Oftentimes when we are creating our experiences unconsciously, we end up in situations and circumstances that we don't want. Click To Tweet
How Is Your Relationship With Yourself?
Many of them haven't been sexual. There have been many men in my path this year who have been so connected to themselves and on their path that they are not wanting to get into a sexual relationship with me because they're in a state of self- inquiry, self-reflection, abstinence or whatever it is. What I wanted to talk about is that if you're not feeling or experiencing the types of relationship that you truly want, the first thing you must do is start tuning in and ask yourself how your relationship with yourself is. If you don't have a good relationship with yourself, it is going to be hard for you to create beautiful relationships with others. The relationship to self is the most important relationship we have and yet in our society, in our culture, we often shame. There's a lot of shame around taking care of yourself and honoring yourself. It's known as being selfish. I hope that this helps to shift some of our old stories and beliefs around that. In order to be worshiped, you must first worship. What in the world do I mean by that? I truly do believe that each and every single individual on this planet is an embodiment of the god-goddess. We are all divine beings. If we want to truly begin to feel our own divinity and sacredness, we must begin to worship ourselves.
Years ago when I was in India, I remember feeling as though I wanted to connect. I want to be held and feel a deep connection. I didn't want to go seek it because the seeking is often where we go wrong. What I did was I created something that I call the Goddess Shower. This is for you, gorgeous gods who are listening. This is an act of worship. I started thinking about why is it that when I'm in the shower with a lover, I am so present? I truly worship every part of this divine person’s being. I go slow and I feel the soap against every part of their skin. I allow the water to wash over us and feel how good it feels to be cleansed. I take my time, I go slow and I honor this beautiful experience. I started asking myself, “Why do I do this for a lover?” When I go to shower in my own space I'm all about, “Get in, get out, wash me up, I shave my legs, do it quickly. I don't want to be spending this time. I'm done.” The shower is the doing in order to get to where I want to go instead of allowing to fully worship my body.
I created this evening where I lit candles all over my room and I made myself one of my favorite elixirs. It makes me feel so connected and juicy. I played my favorite music and I lit candles in the shower. I cultivated what I now call the Goddess Shower or the God-Goddess Shower. I share this with you because this is one of the ways where you can begin to worship yourself. I'll tell you something, if you want someone to worship you, to see you in your divinity for all that you are, to see your soul embodied in a human form, if you want them to spill, open their heart, surrender to you and worship every inch of your body, if you don't do that yourself, there will be a very slight chance that you will find someone who will be able to recognize the divinity in you and give you that too.
If you can't see it yourself, we are all reflections of one another. If you’re reflecting this not enough, “I'm not worthy of my time. I'm not worthy of my worship. I'm not worthy,” maybe you don't say those words but your actions show that by not taking time to connect to yourself, to love yourself, to spend time with yourself. This is just one small way. If you don't take the time, why would somebody else? If you start to honor yourself, if you start to give yourself time, if you start to say no to all the people-pleasing activities that you do, when you start to say yes to yourself, your self-worth increases. If you start to spend money on yourself instead of on everything and everyone else, you're telling yourself on a subconscious and cellular level, “I am worthy.” If you start to invest in your health by choosing to eat better foods, by choosing to move your body, by choosing to invest in teachers, workshops, programs that help you continue to connect deeper to you, you begin to worship the god-goddess within. When you start to do that, I promise others will too. We are all reflections of one another. In order for someone to see you in your full divinity, you must see you in that space too.When you start focusing your energy within, your whole life will start to change. Click To Tweet
Some of the ways in which we can cultivate this worship is by just realizing that this is a physical form that we've been gifted to experience this 3D world. It is a reflection of how we feel. If you're having weight issues, skin issues or pain issues, it's not something that's happening to you. It's something that you have created by your patterns, habits, thoughts and your belief systems. If just per se, maybe this concept of worshiping the goddess is weird to you, foreign and maybe even slightly uncomfortable, I invite you to look at that. All I'm saying is that you are divine and that you're worth it. If there's stickiness around this, I invite you to sit with that and ask yourself, “Why do I feel sticky about realizing that I'm worth it?”
If you start to understand this and if you start to truly honor this, give yourself the self-love, then you who it is that you are wanting to attract, the right types of relationships will come to you. You don't have to seek. It's the looking, the act of looking, the act of seeking that pulls us out of alignment. We're trying to fulfill a part of ourselves that cannot be fulfilled by the other. If you do find a relationship and it is great, chances are it's going to go sour sooner rather than later because the self-worth issues and these projection issues are going to come up. That's why so many of us end up in these relationships that we think we want and then we get into them and then all of our crap comes up, which regardless of how much work you've done on your own self, relationships still bring up your crap.
Do The Self Work
The more of your own self-work you've done, the smoother your relationships can be. You start actually cultivating the right types of sexual experiences, intimate experiences, and relationships that you desire. I talk a lot about self-work. If you haven't gone back to my previous podcast. I have one called Doing the SELF-Work. It’s the most important work you could ever do. You start focusing your energy within and I promise your whole life will start to change. The way that you feel will start to change. Your body will change, your relationships will change, your life circumstances would change. I want to talk about a couple other things. I've mentioned them in this podcast but think about if you were god-goddess or even if you were the love, if you have a hard time connecting to those words, if you were the love of your life, how would you treat the love of your life? How would you cook them breakfast in the morning? How would you shower them? What things would you buy them to show your love?
Start thinking about those qualities and those actions. Start performing those actions on yourself. Take yourself out on a date. Get ready and get dressed up for you, not for the world but for you. Start wearing clothes that make you feel good. Start doing things that make you come alive. Start worshiping yourself. In every aspect of your being, take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. I promise that what you see on the outside is truly just a reflection of what's happening within. When you start to change what's going on internally, the outside will change as well. I can say this from my own experience and I can also say this from working with many clients of giving them these tools, tips and seeing them progress in their own self-love. A lot of people ask me, “How do you work with people? How does it work?” I teach them to love themselves. I teach them to how to reconnect with themselves and giving the tools to establish this beautiful relationship with themselves.Cultivating self-love and honoring the god-goddess within is the top secret. Click To Tweet
I want to share a personal story because it's important to be as open and transparent as I can and share some of my experiences. I am in the process of writing a book, a lot of these experiences and all the juicy details. I couldn't write this script, this movie that I'm living. It's quite crazy. I want to share an experience that happened to me that inspired me to write or to share this podcast. I've connected to a lot of the divine masculine. I've been able to see them in so many different forms. I've been able to hold space for them and the Men Circles that I've been hosting and in the men's work that I'm doing when coaching them. I’ve been able to connect with them on emotional levels, intimate levels and even in some sexual levels. I've been able to meet them on a soul level and create beautiful experiences with them in a varying array of ways.
I connected with this beautiful soul. It was interesting. When I saw this person, I saw the back of him. I was like, “I feel that person's spirit.” I'm a very intuitive person. I can feel a lot. I remember feeling like, “That person is beautiful.” I didn't even see them. I just felt their energy from the back. One another way that you can worship the god-goddess is masturbation meditation. We have so much shame around sex, sexuality, masturbation and all of these different ways of connecting with ourselves sexually. If you love masturbation, awesome. How about you turn it into a spiritual experience? Try not to ejaculate or not to try to orgasm but worship yourself. I've been calling in a divine masculine in my life. I hadn't been sexually intimate in about six months since my last beautiful, soulful, amazing, divine god came into my life. I've been calling in some beautiful, yummy, spiritual, sexual experiences. I'm very particular, I read energy very well and I know exactly what kind of a person I want in my space, especially if it's sexually.
What I started doing was ritualizing myself love practice in masturbation meditations. I’m using this as an honor to worship the goddess within me. It’s juicy thinking about it. What I would do was instead of like, “Here I'm going to pleasure myself so I can have an orgasm. It's going to be good. Maybe I'll turn on a porno.” No, that's not my style. What I did was turn it up a notch even more. I set up candles everywhere. I put music on, I have a crystal grid and I made one specifically for Shiva, honoring the divine masculine. I had two sessions. One night, it was shorter, sweet, amazing and juicy. The next night I literally spent three hours worshiping and making love to myself the way that I would want a lover to. I didn't even know that was possible. Put a little bit of Cacao in you or a lot in my case and anything is possible. Here's the thing, before this might have been shamed but no, everybody should do this. Everybody should drink some freaking Cacao and make love to yourself for hours like you would a lover, like you want it to be this juicy, long drawn out massage, candles, romance, do it.
That night, I worship myself for about three hours and I woke up the next morning and I had this feeling that I should go to this cafe, which I never go to this cafe. I had this feeling that I need to go. I walk upstairs and the man that I felt his energy before was there. In this space, we caught eye contact and then we went about our business. I was going to leave and he was getting up around the same time. He stops me and he said, “Do I know you?” I said, “Not in this lifetime.” He's this beautiful, long-haired Colombian who has these couple dreads. His whole head isn't dreaded but a couple of dreads on the bottom with feathers from different birds attached to his dreads. It's beautiful. I felt this instant resonance with him, this presence with him. I was like, “I'm going to get a coconut if you want to go.” We go to the coconut stand and then next thing you know, we're out in this field, behind this church all alone, staring into each other's eyes, sitting cross-legged, breathing and feeling. I don't even know how long we were staring into each other's eyes, it’s probably twenty minutes.We feel not good when our actions are not aligned with our intentions. Click To Tweet
We start moving energy between him and I. We started playing with our hands, we're feeling all this chemistry and this energy. The next thing I know I'm sitting on his lap. The next thing I know we're doing these Tantric breathing exercises in the middle of this field. The next thing I know I'm like, “Come with me, you're coming to my house.” This is very rare that this experience, this type of soulful connection from the very beginning. I probably spent an hour meditating with this man in one way, shape, form or another before I was like, “My soul, body and spirit is calling for you. Let's go.” I practice Tantra and many of you know that I talk a lot about Tantra. I've realized actually that I've been Tantric since I was a kid. Some of the things that I would do with my girlfriends and the ways that I connected to myself physically and sexually were very Tantric.
It's something that has been innately in me. Only now having studied Tantra and gone to workshops, festivals, schools and what have you, do I know Tantra from the actual practices that I've picked up along the way. This man, he is literally indigenous from Columbia. He knows Tantra. He is so incredibly connected. I truly do believe that the truth of what Tantra is, what it is beyond all the fluff, the sexuality, worshiping and whatever energy. It's the connection to your masculine and feminine. It’s being able to move and dance between the masculine and feminine within yourself so well that you can balance and dance between the masculine and feminine with the person who you're connecting with intimately or sexually or not. Tantra does not have to be a sexual experience.
This guy was so Tantric in his nature. He understood worshiping the goddess. He understood it in ways so beautifully. We have this beautiful lovemaking experience. Neither of us came, it was this beautiful Tantric experience where it's not about either of us coming. That's not what we're there for, that's not what we're going for. That’s something extra but it's not even something that either of us wants to cultivate because that's not what it's about. I looked at him and I said, “I know you don't practice Tantra but you are so Tantric.” He's so indigenous, he's so connected to himself. He’s like, “I don't understand. When you feel good, I feel good. I don't need to come. That's not why I'm here. When you feel good, I feel good. That's what's most important to me.” Where I'm going with this is I've had a lot of beautiful experiences with this man. We speak different languages. He speaks Spanish. I speak English. We can communicate English on basic levels but when it comes to talking about feelings, there's only so much Spanish I know and there's only so much English he knows. We've had to communicate a lot through our actions, through the energetics of us being present with one another.
My heart is just opening with every divine masculine that I meet. My heart opens more and more because they're seeing me. They are worshiping in ways that I never even truly imagine being worshiped from the way that we shower each other to the way that we see each other when making love and not. What happened was my heart has been opening in so many different ways. A lot of tears come up not because I'm sad but because I see so much beauty. I see so much beauty in all these men. I want to cry for all the women who don't find these men because they're out there. I go over to his place and I could feel we had a little trigger happen. There was this misunderstanding and I want to be there for him and he wants to be there for me but we can't fully communicate. I go to his house, we sit there, we're laying there for a while and I start crying because I'm just so grateful for him showing me how it is to be treated. There are a couple other juicy sex stories that I might share in a podcast with one of my girlfriends. What he showed me is self-acceptance of my body, self-acceptance of being a woman and holding space for me. He's literally changed my life even though we've only been connecting for a few weeks. In a way, it helped me connect deeper to myself, which I will take in every other relationship I go to.We are all reflections of one another. In order for someone to see you in your full divinity, you must see you in that space, too. Click To Tweet
I'm so grateful and we started crying and I'm like, “I'm not crying sadness, I promise.” I'm so grateful. He looks at me, gets up and he puts a shirt over my eyes. He lays me on my back. He places a pillow underneath my feet. Because we can't communicate with words, this was his act, his gesture of worshiping the goddess. He started taking out this coconut oil and he started rubbing my feet with so much care and so much intention and rubbing and worshiping my feet. In India, we walk around barefoot often and even to the point of scrubbing my little toenails. He’s taking so much care and spent about 30 minutes from coconut oil to wiping it off with a towel to putting this beautiful smelling cream on. Leaving me there on my back to receive this goddess, receive me worshiping you. It’s with so much care and he wanted me to feel good. He leaves and comes back, puts a mango on my chest because he knows I love mangoes.
I took the blindfold off and I looked at him and he looks at me with such purity. He’s like, “Do you understand my message?” The message beyond words was, “I see you, I feel you, I honor you and I worship you. Thank you.” It honestly brings me to tears to share this story. For someone to worship me and to honor me, it's a simple gesture. It’s is the energy behind it that makes the biggest difference. It's these things that matter most. I've spent the last year worshiping myself, worshiping in all kinds of ways. A lot of time I've spent with myself doing similar practices but if I didn't worship my body, if I didn't worship myself, this man wouldn't either. It was truly one of the most beautiful acts of love on a soul level that I've received. I felt inspired. At the end of our experience, I was like, “I know we can't communicate that well through words but this experience is going to affect many people. I'm going to share it and I'm going to give people an opportunity to understand what's possible, to understand what they can cultivate and create in their lives.”
Before we had that experience, he and I were reflections of one another. What you see in me is truly what you see in you and we both have that understanding. I hope that this inspires you. I hope that this touches you in some way. I hope that this story is something that you can begin to understand the deeper meanings and how you can cultivate this in your life. If this touched you, I love hearing from you. You can always write to me on my website, AmandaBiccum.com or leave a comment. I'm going to be sharing a lot more sexual juicy experiences with you and also talking a lot more about sacred sexuality, partnerships, relationships and how to bring more of the right kind of relationship into your life. Thank you so much for tuning in. I love your feedback. I love your reviews and I love you truly you for being a part of this community that inspires me to keep doing and sharing. Thank you so much. I will see you next time on the Driven For Purpose podcast.
- Doing the SELF-Work – previous episode